“21 Candles” Quotes and a Revelation

First, the revelation. In later seasons of ADW, on the Pit’s felt board (behind the burger counter), there are two things posted on the board of significance: 1) the words ADVICE–FREE under the menu, and 2) the words YOUR HOST–MR. VERNON GAINES under ADVICE–FREE. Just some useless trivia for you.

Now, on to the quotes (although I realize I may have posted some of these earlier). Trigliani’s “21 Candles” is a simple story about someone celebrating their 21st birthday alone despite the ironic fact that 1) some people plan to dunk her in water (and you can’t to that to Black girls–it’s bad for the hair), 2)she’s neglected to tell anyone except in the school paper, and 3) her friends are trying to take her out for a surprise dinner.

It’s a very sexually charged work. You have to see it at least twice to hear all the sexual double entendres in the episode. For one, there’s the whole erotic image of water when Ron and Dwayne want to “baptize” Whitley. You know, water, sex…Let’s just say its much like connecting sex to “Splash Waterfalls” (by Ludacris) if you know what I mean. And (once again) here are the quotes to “21 Candles” that you really have to think about once you hear them:

• …but you can still carry off big jewels (Julian)
• Well, I hope your buns are moldy (Whitley)
• Hope it’s a big (package)–no, hope it’s a small one. That means jewels (Whitley)
• (This is not the exact quote, sorry–it’s the one where she’s on the bed circling Denzel’s picture with her finger)  I’ve just turned 21…the legal age of consent in every state (Whitley).
• Well, (the call) can wait, but my wienies and beans won’t (Mr. Gaines)
• Wanna see my new underwear? Lace…your favorite (Whitley)
• You know what garlic bread does to me, Denzel? Makes me hot. Makes my every nerve stand at attention and they’re all saluting you! And they think I’m a lady, Denzel, but I’d go cheap for you. Look at my wine selection! (that he he he he he laugh she always does) Talk to me, daddy. Let me call your name. Denzel! Denzel!(Whitley)
• Excuse me, get your own man! Thank you (Whitley)

There might be others, but as I rattle off this now-extensive list, I realize that wine is ecstasy and “21 Candles” is like a sexual metaphor, a fantasy–ruined when Whitley finally lost her virginity to Dwayne.

And speaking of Dwayne, saw all those ex-ADW people in Biker Boyz over the weekend. Like the concept, but the movie is just too damn sappy. My wallpaper on my laptop is now Kadeem Hardison getting ass in a wheelchair. (He’s not with Chante any more, so what?)